a mayday past

so we sent to vancouver to see the weakerthans finish up their cannuk tour. damn if they don’t pay attention to time up there, unlike the evergreen clock being always off, always. never right. we probably shouldn’t have left these concerts layin’ about to nail the coffin in our love to the last. but low blood sugar demanded something after walking way too much in the big city up north bcway.
so we sat down at a way too expensive tourist trap with a beautiful view of the railyard. none the less the duo we were, were shown to a oh so tucked away table for two with a bit of grecian pillar to make the mood. not haven’ it. the poem below works to remind of just how bad it had gotten, and just how sick this chick could be. feathered the nest and the bird is now flown. good riddance and you’ll see why.
the show set to start at 8 was well under way when we finally arrived tryin to enjoy the left over time we had to share there. but the band or the club being punctual beyond recall had set the show going round about then, so when we arrived to catch the headliners at round about 11. two songs left to watch as the clubbers queued up to dance and we raced in to see a mushroomhead permagrin on the band as they finished their set and came back for a jamfilled encore. two songs and the end of a set. all those miles, those unsmiled moments, when sleeping was the only cure for the cure singing primary
the very first time i saw your face/ i thought of a song and quickly changed the tune
the very first time i touched your skin/ i thought of a story and rushed to reach the end too soon.

walpurgisnacht vancouver

it is a romantic table…
too bad it has to be
wasted on us!

“…when my one and only love
was the…”
{you’re so vain}

the flinch of your eye
and the way the muscles
tighten in your face
all speak of this hate
hate –

something you accuse
me of “bitter old man”
i want to quote you & quote
all the pain you lay
down –

bring me to a place
where the memory of love
is defamed and disowned
“if i had known, i never”
why?

because it is so much easier
to block me out turned aside
left behind so the shadow
doesn’t remind you of yesterday’s
mistake

there is an image i do not wish to forget.
the words come out of your mouth,
“stupid, stupid, stupid.”
and your fist beats against your
head, your face. your only desire
to obliterate your pain and
dis-ease by self-abuse destruction
annihilation of the self, self-
abnegation – i hate me because
of you, because you made me feel.

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