just a bit of poetry

one from my weekend at ladyfest in oly. pallas had fallen asleep during barbara lynn (wasn’t her style of music she would later tell me), the second to last set. she was with a group of girls she had taken a drum workshop with earlier in the day. then there was our neighbor and some other luminaries of the scene. acquaintances of what were mutual friends.
we had discussed, pallas and i just such an incidence. and agreed that there was no need to take her home before the end of the night. she would sleep through the last set and then we would go. but the looks that i received were just so accusatory. she was sitting away from me, but i knew she was safe, what with it being her community and she so well known and liked, not to mention it was ladyfest.
i stayed for the last set, i wasn’t about to miss the gossip, as i had missed them earlier this year…i think it was about an ex, but can’t remember. anywho a song or two through i went and sat behind her on the back of a chair to watch the set instead of dancing. one of those acquaintances later came and sat by her as if to protect her, guess i still wasn’t doing what was thought to be necessary…

pushed aside – not a seat left
capitol theater ladyfest olympia, wa friday 29july2005

why does this town seem
poisoned to me
what words have been
whispered about me
the judgments of others
concerning my actions
fatherhood’s responsibilities
questioned by those
who only know my story in
secondhand whispers
so easy to look at others
for blame for fault
it seems that they fail
to see i am here
i am here with her
sharing this life
it is something i said
so long ago when
the split was in the
making beginning
this action that you
take will last
and this home i love so
will become closed
the looks that others throw
me say it all
why isn’t he more of her
father here more
easy to scapegoat the one
pushed aside

last night i went to see old time relijun, an oly band. one of whose members is father to one of pallas’ occasional playmate acquaintances. we chatted before the show, he remembered who i was but not having met. that first meeting ofcourse wouldn’t be memorable it was in the lobby of the capitol theater…where the previous incident took place as well…he had just finished his set at yoyoagogo and i bought the album from which i requested a song last night. the mood of this is much different.

old time relijun at the voodoo
voodoo lounge astoria, or friday 05august2005

at the mouth of the columbia
in a room named after
african magick transplanted
olympia comes to roost
in the form of another claw
an old time relijun
crooning and cawing loudly
the shrieks destined
to drive madness of the day
far away across the water
churned by nighttime breezes
the whites of their eyes
showing as the tides move in
and i feel my own tide
change course in my cloister
the detritus of yesterdays
driven away finally finished
and in that moment i take off
like a phoenix risen from ashes
i fly towards a new brightness